Holy Toleto!
So on Saturday when i thought i'd simply be deadheading straight from Harrisburg back to Chicago...i was wrong. My friend had actually been deadheaded up there to work the flight back that i deadheaded on (way to use those resources) only neither of us made it back to base that night. There is always some kind of delay going into or coming out of Chicago- its rediculous well Sat night was no exception. We began circling around in the air for a while and started to run out of fuel so we had to devert to Toleto. The pilots, the other FA and i and all of the passengers spent the night there in a hotel. Sunday morn i worked a flight out (my friend deadheaded- as you can see, we do alot of deadheading.) I don't mean to sound like i'm complaining by telling you all of these stories, i simply want you to understand the sheer craziness of the airline buisness because what's the use of all this useless knowledge, if i can't pass it on?
Anyway, the job does not come without its perks. On Sunday morn when i finally made it back to Chicago i was let go. I have today, tomorrow, and most of Wednesday off so at the moment, i am in Fort Myers, FL. A friend of mine that i used to work at Disney with lives here in central Florida so i called her yesterday morn and asked if she'd mind if i came and visited. I flew into Orlando last night (we got to fly on the 757 which is a pretty nice plane, it even has an inflight movie- granted we watched some dumb Mandy Moore flick but it was still cool). My friend Tedra, another friend of hers, and I went downtown to check out a couple of bars. I forgot how much i miss downtown orlando- its such a great place. We went and sang kareoke (Blondie's One Way or Another) and played around with this musical light display thing on the side of this huge ass library (its hard to explain- but it was the oddest, most random, but most fun thing you'd expect to find in the middle of the night.) We went to Perkins for breakfast at 4 am and didn't get back to her place til like 8am. Then today (on three hours sleep) we went to the beach. We were gonna drive back up to Orlando and go to Disney but that costs money (something we seriously took for granted having worked there all those months) so we went to Marco Beach or something (on the Gulf). It was 50 degrees and raining in Chicago when i left...so nice to be here in the sun and in the water and everything! Anyway Tedra just dyed my hair red so i need to wash it out....i'll let you know if anything disasterous happens...

My life as a pingpong ball....
So after spending five nights in not only one city, but in one bed (i know it sounds like i go home alot but i really don't) i finally had to go back to work. Home was actually really good. It had been a few months since i had been home for more than a day or two at a time so this time i actually got to visit with some people i hadn't seen in a while and really just relax instead of just running around trying to accomplish everything i could in the few hours in which i actually had access to a car.
I have recently seen two different movies in which i know feel dumber for having seen. One is "My Boss' Daughter" and the other is "Super Troopers". If you've seen them, I'm sorry. If you haven't, concider yourself lucky.
I had flown back up to Chicago yesterday. Yesterday was also the day George Bush decided to fly into the New Orleans airport (he had gone to speak at LSU's graduation and was popping into N.O. for some kind of fund raiser thing). We, of course, sat on the runway for like an hour for security purposes (i did get to see Air Force One though...kind of a let down, Lufthansa (this German airline that my friend conned a gate agent into letting us go see) has an airbus that looks like it would be much better.) Anyway when i did finally make it back to Chicago, i deadheaded with an FO to Harrisburg, PA. The weather was horrible but we managed to dogde lightning and make it here last night at like 11pm. When he and i got to the hotel, we assumed there would be a Captain who had come in earlier...we were wrong. The first officer and i went to the airport at 6am (Eastern time!) and waited for four hours until crew scheduling released us back into rest at the hotel (apparently the captain in question is MIA). I will be deadheading back to Chicago at 7 pm (24 hours after i left and i will only be getting paid for one flight- two deadheads equal one worked flight). This whole trip is pointless though. The only reason you deadhead is so you can work whatever flight it is coming back. I'm not doing that. I am simply stranded in Harrisburg (and of course there's nothing around the hotel.) I'm trying to not be negative though. I will simply look at this is a mini vacation...to pennsylvania. Ugg...why couldn't have i gotten layed over in Hawaii??

I'm home now!! We're required four consecutive days off a month and this is mine for May. And believe me i need it. I just finished a five day sequence in which i had three deadheads (where you fly from one place to another but don't work the flight, its just to get you there so you can then work the next flight), a ferry flight (where you don't have any passengers- that was really cool, though, because the captain let me ride in the cockpit in the jumpseat), an emergency landing (this guy had a heart attack), a two hour ground delay, a flight where a lady threw up, a flight where a couple tried making into the mile high club from the front row, and about five other potential disasters....time off is good.
So far all i've done is visit my friends from the River Ridge Dominos (who are ok but i miss my Natchitoches Dominos friends more) and take my little sister to see "Mean Girls". I wouldn't have even bothered with such a cheesy, cliche, teeny bopper flick except that it was produced by Lourne Michaels and the screenplay was written by Tina Fey so it did have some SNL humor to it.
Its been raining so much here in New Orleans though. Weather in Chicago sucks too but not this bad....i hope it gets better.

Human nature- to want your cake and eat it too. On one hand, I love this new life of mine- always on the go, every night in a different city, all the people I meet, and flying literally up above the clouds. On the other hand…there was this German Shepard on one of my flights the other day (it was a seeing eye dog for this blind lady) and the whole flight I just kept staring at it, thinking how much I want a dog. On one of my days off I went into this huge two story glass enclosed Home Depot downtown Chicago and I found myself looking at floor tiles, wishing I had a house to decorate. Add in the fact that I watched the Dick Van Dyke reunion show on TV, and I’m an old foegy in the making.
Ugg…anyway, I’m not completely a contradiction nor am I yet over the hill. After taking 20 flights in the course of four days I got two days off. I went and saw “The Ladykillers” which is a slightly more morbid, but funnier version of “Ocean’s Eleven” in my opinion. It was pretty good but kinda drug out. If you’re just in the mood to rent something one night I’d check it out but don’t necessarily go see it on the big screen. I almost saw “Supersize Me” in stead. Has anyone heard about that? Its this documentary some guy made about living on nothing but McDonald’s for a full month. Apparently he gained like 30 lbs and his liver and heart and other intestines are now really in trouble. C-razy!
I also had a Mexican coke yesterday. I got off the train line in this all Spanish neighborhood and when I went into this convenience store to get a drink, the bottle said product of Mexico. It tastes different. I hope I don’t get sick. Aren’t you not supposed to drink the water there or something?
I'm now in the middle of a new sequence (at the moment, overnighting in lovely Little Rock) Its just really been crazy, though. There are some things i really enjoy- no matter how much time i spend staring out the window on the plane, i never get sick of it. There's nothing better than watching the sunset over a blanket of clouds that look like a rough sea. However there's nothing worse than spending an entire day (think 14 hours) in and out of airports (mainly just sitting at O'Hare though) and only getting paid for a fourth of it (thing number six hundred and twelve that sucks ass, we only get paid when we are on an aircraft with the door closed)
There's a lot of shit i'm really getting sick of but i refuse to quit yet....i am not a quitter (with the exception of this piano class i took last year, i'm really bad bad at piano and my tutor was very distracting.)
Anyway its ok....knock on wood or whatever i'll be home next week....I'm supposed to fly in on Sunday evening and i'll be in New Orleans til Fri morn probably so if anyone who's reading this will be in the area and wants to do something...let me know...

When i had originally started my blog i had intended that it be a sort of discussion forum (as many of my other friends who have blogs have) as well as just other stuff but since i never get to watch the news or see any movies or anything like that, i write what i know...
I am currently in Champagne, IL (and no, i'm not drinking any) but it is a cool little town actually. The guy who sat in the front row on the flight in was telling me about it and it has a Big Ten school here so at least there's somethig. Last night i was in Columbus, OH and the only redeeming quality there is there's a really cool gift shop in the airport (its called 'Sue Venier')
I've been working the most crazy shifts the past couple of days. We're only allowed to be scheduled 14 hours a day and today i had 13 hrs and 30 minutes....being on reserve for the airline is enlisting in slave labor.
Its not all bad though. I've had some cool passengers. There was this woman on one of my flights yesterday who was from Equador. She kept insisting on trying to help me serve the beverages because, "i was stewardess for twenty years. i help." It was a trip trying to keep this lady in her seat. You meet alot of cute guys too, the only problem is they all leave when the flight's over.
I've gotten very used to flying in turbulence. Its actually kinda fun (well, as long as you don't have to pee or if you're trying to serve coffee.)
And thanks to the wonder of time zones, i made it in last night just in time to catch the final episode of "Friends". I'm glad i saw it because its just one of those things you have to say you saw (i still remember where i was when the last "Seinfeld" aired, i was doing this really horrible production of "Cinderella" in Harahan so i missed it) but the "Friends" episode itself wasn't actually that great in my opinion- not worth the hype anyway.
I just get so confused lately. Besides the time zone thing (which always makes me feel like i'm in a "Back to the Future" movie whenever we arrive somewhere ten minutes after we left) i get confused where i am. I get a little slip of paper at the beginning of the flight with the flight number on it and the other day it had the number and Rodchester on it. So i welcomed everyone to our flight to Rodchester, NY....come to find out, we were going to Rodchester, MN.
On the plus side, i got to go to Chinatown a couple of days ago (on Cinco de Mayo ironically) in Chicago. I hear the ones in San Francisco and New York are better but i don't have those to compare it to so it was good. I had bubble tea (its a Chinese drink apparently which doesn't actually contain tea but is a fruit drink with tapioca beads in it)....its so good!
Actually my newest concoction though is trail mix: cereal (some kind of flakes, either Special K or Corn Flakes), popcorn (preferably kettle corn), pistacios, almonds (not too many though), and Raisinettes. Try it....its good (but it gets crushed if you stick it in a tote bag.)
I got to go home a few days ago. I had two nights there. Like when i went to Natchitoches, i wasn't there long enough to see alot of the people i would have liked to but i did get to go to my sister's confirmation. I guess she's like a ful fledged Catholic now or whatever. I was her sponser and it was the longest mass ever! It was nice to sleep in my bed though. And it was the first time i spent two consecutive nights in the same city since i've started with the airline.
Tomorrow i go back to Chicago (after flying around all day though) and back to my friend's apartment. Its sad though, even gay guys can't seem to remember to keep the toliet seat down!

What seperates a flight attendant from the lowest form of scum on the earth?
The cock pit door.
What's the difference between a pilot and God?
God doesn't think He's a pilot.
Even before i had started, all i had heard was bad pilot jokes only i thought they were just an exaggeration because so far i had had some really cool guys to fly with...until today.
Today i was on reserve but i got tired of sitting around at my friend's apartment all day so i decided to venture out into the city. I was having a really good time actually going into all the little resale shops and trendy boutiques. I had just gone into this little retro sandwich/coffee shop when my cell rang and it was crew scheduling. It was 5:30 and i apparently had an 8 o'clock departure to Cedar Rapides, IA. I had to rush all the way back and change clothes and grab my stuff and everything and get to the airport. Then completely frazzled (as i often am) i dash onto the plane and it looks like a space ship! For the past few weeks i've been flying the Embraer and then tonite i step onto the CRJ (a 70 seater aircraft that i had never actually seen before in my whole life.) We learned about it in training and stuff but in real life it looks NOTHING like the cabin trainer. On this aircraft though there's a second flight attendant. She was real sweet but the stereotypical airline stewardess- petite, blonde and ditzy as hell. She, incidently, had only ever been on a CRJ once before. During the two of us trying to figure out how to operate the door, though, the arrogant as hell captain has the audacity to ask me for a bottle of water. Had i realized he was directly asking me to get him one, i would have said "can't you get your own damned water?" (he afterall having been on the plane a million times before and me clearly not having a clue where anything was) but usually when pilots want something they just get it themselves so when he mentioned something about needing water i said "sure grab one if you can find it." A few minutes later he called me out of the plane (after the passengers had boarded but before we had taken off obviously) and speaking to me like i was a child and he was the principal, told me in so many words, that my frazzled manner earlier was inappropriate and my sarcasim was not apprecitated. I'm not sure that the captain is exactly my superior but i'm not a confronational person and i would rather not be fired for something as trivial as that so i stood there and took what he was dishing out....stupid asshole.
Ugg....so we have a 5:30 am van tomorrow to go back to Chicago and then to Little Rock and back....and then i'm done with this stupid crew and (hopefully) i'm going home (to New Orleans.) Whoo-hoo

So i'm homeless again...
The crashpad that i was in has dis-banned and so while i'm glad to be away from the wicked witches of the midwest and the low-Quality Inn, it would be nice if i had a place to stay. At the moment my stuff is staying with two fags- a Hawaiian and a Puterican, in an apartment off the train line. I kinda wouldn't mind staying in their living room for a while but i don't think they want the permenant house guest. I guess i'll figure something out though, i always do...
So i owed the Quality Inn $180 in internet fees before i left though....apparently when i thought i was signing on to a local phone number, it was long distance and so they had been charging me by the minute...that really sucks so now i'm real careful about finding local sign on numbers. I can only use my comp on overnights anyway now so its not too bad.
Incidently my overnight right now is in Syracuse, NY. This is the first time i'd ever been to NY but its upstate so its not like i can say i've been to the city. We're not here very long anyway. The flight coming in had got delayed and plus i lost an hour with this whole time zone thing so whatever.
Anyway i did go to Natchitoches earlier in the week. For the most part it was really great. My friend Mickey came and picked me up from the Shreveport airport at the last minute and i got to hang out with some of my friends that night and the next day. Wednesday night i went and saw "Hurly Burly" (a play they were doing over at the theatre) It was ok....very character driven which i'm not a big fan of (i need a strong plot) But the evening was interesting anyway to say the least due to a guy i knew from last semester that i ran into who kept trying to get me to go home with him. Only instead of sleeping with some random guy i chose to go to the Body (a hole in the wall bar there) with my friend Angela and some other people. It was ok, after enough Tequilla sunrises and Amoretta sours, anything (even an underclassman Greek dance club) can be ok. We ended up just staying up all night and left Nat at 4 am to drive an hour back up to Shreveport to catch my 6 am flight to Dallas so that i could get back to Chicago.
Crazy? Yeah, pretty much...
Anyway, i'll report again whenever something interesting actually happens....